FREAKING out!!!

I almost forgot to talk about this! So let's see...not last night, but the night before I completely wigged out. I live in a house that was built in 1936 (that's almost antique!) and for some reason my OVERactive imagination started thinking about the electricity in our home. I started to think hmm..how much of the wiring is original and how many wires are frayed, then it hit me...OMFG there are 10 things plugged into 2 outlets in the office!! All the wires on the ground in there are filthy and there are dust bunnies galore. Next i thought about the living room and wtf...there are 6 plugged into 2 outlets in there...my mind was screaming HELLO YOU DOUCHE! FIRE HAZARD!! while my mouth was saying calm down it's ok.

Well after contemplating this in my mind for about 20 minutes I finally started to cry and figured my mom will comfort me, so I called her up to my room. (now at this point I am just crying silently you know..."silent tears") The minute i try to tell my mom whats on my mind I completely lose it... I am sobbing and gagging and peeing my pants and choking on snot and the whole time what is my mother doing?! FUCKING LAUGHING. Anyways my mom gets me to calm down and she goes back downstairs after promising to turn off the computers so they don't catch fire and do I finally drift off to dreamland? Hell no...I sneak downstairs and grab every cleaning product I can fit into my grubby hands.

I don't know what had crawled up my ass but I realised my room is filthy dirty and I can't bring a baby home to a mess like this. So here I am scrubbing away at my already decently clean room muttering to myself about what a filthy pig sty the house is. And who comes up to see what I am up to? Yup, ding ding ding, my mother. So now I am bawling my eyes out about how dirty the house is and no baby can live in a place like this, and yup she's laughing again. Needless to say, I didn't get to bed until after midnight when I finished scrubbing my room.

Now I already talked about my poor dog today but after that episode I decided I must really need a nap, so I went upstairs and what happens my mom calls twice, then my dad calls (well my neighbor using my dads phone) and I lost it start bawling telling her I want everyone and their brother to leave me alone and what does she say? Can you go and feed Maggie and Ruby? CAN I DO WHAT?!?! NO I AM IN BED!!! So she gets all huffity as I am bawling my eyes out and now who calls? my aunt...mind you I have already been sobbing for approximately 10 minutes and now I have really had it. I start screaming inaudible words into the phone about how I don't want to be on the boat and I hate being pregnant and my life sucks and I want everyone to leave me alone...she can't understand me. Finally I get her off the phone and I proceed to cry for another 15 or 20 minutes then I pass the hell out. Now I have horrid heartburn, a puffy face and a headache. i guess it serves me right.